I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
