the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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