just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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