my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
