It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
