Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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