O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
