you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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