You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
