Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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