So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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