you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
