I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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