did you get engaged???
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
