Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
