Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
