I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We got so high we made milksteak
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
