put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
