What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
