Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
