You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
