i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
