I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
