She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
