You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
