True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
