problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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