not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
