I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
