mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
