you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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