Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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