Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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