Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
