Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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