oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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