You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
