im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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