Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize