Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
