Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
