I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
