when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
