i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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