its not stalking. its research.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
whose parrot is this?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
