I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
