ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
