I need to stop coming to work sober
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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