I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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