dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
